List the ordered pairs, then test in this order, trying to DISPROVE first.
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If an element x does not have its pair (x,x) → the relation is not reflexive, and you are done
Example: on a three-element set, the pair 3-3 is missing
it is the fastest test: it is read on the diagonal of the matrix
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If a pair (x,y) is in it without (y,x) → it is not symmetric
Example: (1,2) present, (2,1) absent
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If two pairs (x,y) and (y,x) are in it with x=y → it is not antisymmetric
Example: (1,2) and (2,1) with 1=2
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If two pairs (x,y) and (y,z) are in it without (x,z) → it is not transitive
Example: (1,2) and (2,3) without (1,3)
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If no counterexample turns up → prove the property in the general case, starting from the hypotheses
Example: “let (x,y) and (y,z) be in R; then...”
The order matters: reflexivity first, because it is read at a glance on the diagonal and immediately rules out an order as well as an equivalence.